Sneaking Around Makes It More Fun
by MadQuinn13
Summary: Emma and Ruby have been together. No one knows, at least they're pretty sure no one knows.
1. Sneaking Around

Timeline: Takes place before and after the curse is lifted but it will be made clear.

Ruby smiled to herself as she gently pushed the lost strands of blonde hair behind Emma's ear. She still wasn't completely sure what happened for her to be where she is right now but she didn't want it to change. Sure it was a pain always sneaking out of the bed before the sun came out in order to avoid their respective housemates, or relatives in Ruby's case. "I'll make sure we get our own place soon Lemur so that way we can wake up next to each other all the time." She pulled Emma closer to her and just closed her eyes or a moment just wanting to pretend that she could wake up in this bed.

"Ruby, Ruby come on you have to wake up!" Emma whispered in the brunette's ear shaking her shoulder, a panic tone filling her voice. "You over slept, Granny has been calling your phone like mad and Mary Margret might see you." Emma knew that on the odd occasion Mary Margret entered her room without knocking and a part of her knew that it would happen today with their luck.

"What? What time is it?" Ruby looked to the alarm clock which said seven thirty. "Crap I was suppose to open the diner at five!" She shot out of bed looking around the room for her clothes cursing the fact that they could never remove their clothes like normal people but instead they had to rip them off each other. "I swear I only closed my eyes for a second." She did wonder if Emma was mad at her, this hadn't happened before but she was grateful they weren't at her place because she knows from experience Granny never knocked and if Ruby was a minute behind she was pulling her out of bed.

"Um, okay I'll leave my key on the counter and as soon as we leave you can leave and just lock up and make it look like I did?" Emma was nervous and she really didn't know what to do.

"Okay, yeah, and I'll think of some reason to explain where I was during that time." Ruby now fully dressed…well fully for her took a seat on the bed watching Emma get an outfit together. Soon as she was dressed she went back to the bed and pulled Ruby in for another kiss before she had to leave. "I'll see you at lunch right?"

Ruby smiled into the kiss. "Where else would I be?" She laid back and listened to the low sound of conversation before hearing the front door leave.

She heard footsteps on the steel staircase and got her hopes up that it might be Emma, since they were already running late maybe she'd be up for a morning quickie. Only it didn't smell like her lemur.

"I'm sure Emma wouldn't mind if I borrow that shirt." Ruby's eyes went wide as she heard Mary Margret talk to herself before opening the door.

'_Crap! She's coming in, where to hide, where to hide.'_ Ruby panicked and drove under the bed, trying to keep herself off the floor and out of sight.

"Now where was that shirt…well knowing Emma it's in ball on the floor." Mary Margret joked as she went through the drawlers only to come up on empty. "If it's not in the closet I'm going through every inch of this room. I need that shirt." Ruby closed her eyes and groaned inwardly.

"Nope, no, no, no, oh, cute maybe next time, no, aha! This is it." She grabbed the shirt grinning as she put it on over the tank top she was wearing and rushed out the door. Ruby looked up just in time to see which shirt Mary Margret took.

"Way too close." She breathed a sigh of relief before leaving for the diner already working on the reason behind her disappearance. _Maybe I should tell Granny that I'm a werewolf and I woke up in the middle of the forest. _She laughed at the thought; Granny wasn't senile enough to believe that.

Next Week.

Emma was sitting in a booth at the diner watching Ruby work back and forth. She couldn't help but let her eyes rake over the body that not too long ago was over hers. She had only just sat down and was waiting for the beautiful woman to take her order, five minutes passed and Ruby had only looked her way, sent a wink then went to bring someone else their food. After three more people who Emma knew came in after her got their orders taken and she was still being ignored. She had enough, not sure what game Ruby was playing with her but she had enough and was hungry, however just as she made it to the counter she saw Ruby pick up a plate and frowned at her.

"It's harder for me to bring you your food if you keeping moving Emma." Ruby raised an eyebrow at her.

"It's harder when you don't take my order." Emma pointed out ready to win this little argument.

"I don't need to take your order; you always get the same thing. Every single time, no matter what time of day it is." Ruby slammed the plate down in front of Emma and on it was a grilled cheese and fries. With that Ruby disappeared out back, the one place Emma couldn't follow.

"Shit…" Emma groaned knowing that it was going to take a while to be forgiven and she didn't want it to take that long, she just wanted to pick Ruby up once the diner closed, go back to the inn, maybe watch a movie, or most likely start to watch a movie and up making out during it and maybe have sex, but end up asleep with Ruby curled up into her chest like normal. It was harder to make up after a fight when you were supposed to be secretive, but it did mean that fighting in public almost never happened.

"Ruby….?" Emma knew that her waitress most likely was not going to be coming back out if Emma was still there, but the blonde didn't want to leave on this note. So she did what a normal person would do. She spelt out things with her fries, not being hungry at all anymore. She sighed when after a few more minutes Ruby still didn't come back out, one of the other waitresses came out and went right to Emma.

"Sorry Sheriff but I have to ask you to leave, I can put your food in a take-out container but you can't stay here." Emma sighed and said it's fine she'll just leave. She did however take out all her cash and told her that it's hers if she tries to get Ruby to forgive her.

"See ya Sheriff." The waitress just took the money and left.

Emma went back to the station leaning on her desk thinking of ways to beg Ruby for forgiveness; she didn't want to give up.

Emma knew Ruby still didn't have a car, well she did own it but it was trashed in the reck that Ashley got into in it. So she would just wait outside the diner and give her a ride home and explain to her the entire time why she was sorry and one hundred percent wrong. She also had to hope no one would call the police about there being a stalker outside the dinner because she didn't feel like arresting herself.

Sure enough six hours later, (Ruby had to work a double because one of the other waitresses was sick) Ruby was walking out of the dinner and locked up then began the walk home. Without missing a beat, everyone's favorite Sheriff stepped out of her yellow bug and called out to the leggy werewolf.

"It's cold, and I know you don't have enough warm clothes on because you always dress for movement and while you're working and busy you almost always end up getting hot unless you have close to nothing on. Which works well for you." Emma knew she was rambling a bit but she was hoping it would work. "What I mean is, I'll drive you to the inn so you don't get frostbite."

Ruby raised an eyebrow at her and sighed. "I'm still mad at you." She was too, for the last six hours all she thought was how much she was mad at Emma.

"That's okay. For what it counts I'm still really sorry. I suck at relationships. I warned you that most of the time you'd want to bash my face in." She did and Ruby's response was never.

"I don't want to bash your face in. I don't want you to apologize. I just want you to calm down and think and let yourself be content to sit your ass down and know that your girlfriend knows what she is doing. That she knows you." That was what pissed her of the most about the fight; Emma thought she was ignoring her.

"I didn't think of that." Emma deflated. "Please just let me take you home, you're already shivering and it would kill me to know that you got sick because you were too mad at me to let me drive you home."

"I could call Billy or Dr. Whale either one of them would drive through an ocean to give me a lift." She was just making a point to Emma that she chose Emma over them. She decided to stop going home with random men so she could go home with Emma every night.

"You could and you can if you so choose to." Emma took off her red leather jacket (an object which had a tendency to go missing and be found on Ruby) and slowly moved closer to Ruby. "At least take my jacket if you're determined to walk."

"You mean my jacket? Take my jacket and get in your car?" Ruby smirked at her.

"So if I give you the jacket which you pretty much already claim as yours not mine, you'll let me drive you home?" Emma wanted to make sure they were on the same page, she didn't mind losing that jacket, it did look much better on Ruby.

"Yup." With that Ruby took the jacket, put it on gave Emma a chaste peck on the lips before getting in the driver's seat. "Come on get in, you'll freeze with just that tank top on."

The drive was short, quiet expect for the gentle hum of the engine. "We're here." She smiled turning off the car.

"It's a full moon tomorrow, you know that you need to have someone to curl into around this time of the month if you want, I could be that someone." Emma suggested knowing that Ruby got really bad pains during the full moon cycle.

"Don't worry about it. I'll be fine. I'm off tomorrow so how about you come visit, we'll talk then okay." Ruby got out and glanced over the roof of the car to see that Emma did the same.

"If only it wasn't illegal for me to rent a room, then it'll be much easier to sneak into your bed." Emma moved closer and raised her arms slightly. "Can I get a goodnight hug at lease?"

Ruby smiled and nodded wrapping her arms tightly around the blonde's neck. "I'm not fully mad at you anymore. And if you want to wake me up with breakfast in bed, I might not kick you out." She sighed into the hug not believe how much she needed physical contact with Emma.

"Okay, any requests?"

"Sundaes, waffles the toaster kind, muffins, oh Danishes and lots of bacon and frying ham." Ruby grinned into her neck. "Maybe it's easier if you stayed here tonight, with me and made this stuff when you woke up in the morning." She broke away and gave Emma a coy smile. Shutting the car door and tossing the keys she took out of the ignition from sheer habit over to Emma who caught them. "I'll give you 5 minutes to climb in through the window. Should you decided to expect this forgiveness challenge." She raced off into the Inn heading straight to her room and locking all three locks on the door, unlocking the window, stripping off her clothes and climbing into bed.

Emma was five seconds behind her, as soon as Ruby got into bed Emma opened the window and climbed in. Smiling when the younger girl backed up into her body so she could wrap her arms around her tightly.

"I'll keep you safe every night. I promise." Emma closed her eyes content to fall asleep like this every night.

"Careful you might not want to be next to me every night." Ruby sighed before drifting off into sleep herself.

"Never. This right here is where I belong." Emma kissed the side of Ruby's head finally falling asleep herself. "'Night baby."

"'Night." Ruby turned around in Emma's arms so she could nuzzle her neck.

Ruby woke up still half on top of Emma and smiled. "Lemur time to wake up." She whispered tilting her head to get a better view of her exposed neck. With a wicked grin on her lips she scooted down the blonde's body lightly sucking on what has become her favorite spot on Emma's neck.

"You didn't get enough of that last night?" A voice Ruby was not expecting to hear spoke from the doorway which made the poor teen-stuck-in-the-body-of-a-adult jump and fall off the bed, which thanks to the loud thunk it made woke up Emma who grabbed the sheets and pulled them up, forget she was still fully clothed.

"What the hell?" Ruby asked her grandmother who was laughing at her.

"The alarm was set on the window, when that one." She pointed at Emma. "Crawled through the window." She turned to face the blonde woman. "Use the door. I'm sick of getting calls in the middle of the night from the alarm company."

The pair that was caught in bed tried to stutter out a response but the older woman left simply laughing at the two of them.

"I'm the one in my underwear, why the hell do you get to cover up your tee shirt and jeans?" Ruby asked from her spot on the floor.

"You fell off the bed. Also it's your grandmother." Emma pointed out getting up to see if Ruby could actually get up herself. "Did you hurt yourself?"

"Yes." Ruby muttered pouting.

"You mean your pride don't you?" Emma laugh. Ruby just nodded before getting up herself and throwing one of the pillows at Emma.

"Do you think she knows?" Emma just stared back at Ruby in response before shaking her head.

"No Rubes, I don't think she knows anything about what we're doing." Emma felt like groaning when Ruby smiled back at her and said good.

**A/N: Not sure if this is going to be more than a one shot. Its up to all of you I guess. **


	2. Granny needs to go in a home --

Ruby was lying on the kitchen floor naked, on top of a equally naked Emma in Emma and Mary Margaret's apartment. Mary Margaret was spending the night at David's so the pair could spend all the whole night and most of the next day since neither were working in a state of undress which they rarely got to relish in.

"They should just move in together." Ruby spoke quietly as she just felt Emma's heartbeat against her own.

"I think they would take this place..." Emma pointed as her hand paused in mid invisible drawing on Ruby's back.

"Well you could move in with me then...you know if you wanted too." Ruby shrugged not sure how that ended up escaping her lips.

"If we did move into your room, we might have to tell Granny about us." Emma knew the older woman already knew but Ruby was so determined to be able to slip something past the old woman she diluted herself into thinking she had no idea what they were doing when Emma would sneak in through a window or something of the sort.

"Do you think she would be okay with it?" Ruby asked moving to straddle Emma so they could look at each other during this apparently serious conversation.

"She might not be okay with the fact that I have a criminal record, a child that at most I'll have to share custody with Regina but I think if you told her how much I made you happy and you know that you love me, I can't see why she wouldn't be." Emma tried to explain, she didn't really know the old woman only that she was a great laugh when she wanted to be and if you tried to hurt Ruby she'd stab you with a fork, a fact she learned when she was caught checking out her favorite waitress. Luckily she moved her hand a split second before impact.

"You have more faith than I do with her." Ruby shrugged lying back down. "We'll just have to wait and cross that brige when one of us crashes into it."

It was late according to the oven clock and neither girl had moved from the kitchen only now they were side by side and trying to catch their breath like they just ran a marathon. When Ruby heard footsteps coming up the stairs outside.

"Oh shit someone's coming." Ruby bolted up and tried to remember what room they started undressing.

Emma also heard at last the footsteps and repeated the panicked actions of her girlfriend.

Ruby found a shirt and a pair of pants, while Emma found one pair of panties and a second shirt.

"You take the pants and your shirt, I'll go in my room and grab a new pair. Sit on the couch and pretend to watch tv or something. We'll just say I was in the bathroom." Emma raced to her room while Ruby raced to get dressed wondering what happened to the missing clothes.

Mary Margate finally entered the apartment and was greeted by the two women on separate ends on the couch watching a show about lions giving birth. Okay that was weird but who was she to judge, she loved watching Toddlers & Tiaras.

"Hey guys what are you doing?" She asked moving closer into the room.

"Nothing just watching tv, you know same old same old M&M." Ruby spoke up from the couch.

"Okay..." She went to the kitchen to get a glass of water.

"I thought you were spending the night at David's." Emma sort of asked turning around to face her roommate.

"We got into this silly argument over something stupid so I figured it was best to come home." She explained. "You two going out drinking later?" She knew the pair normally did end up going out and coming home far drunker than any person should.

"Nah, we figured we would give our livers a break for a week so we could end up going nuts next week." Ruby shrugged trying to figure out what they were doing next.

"That's good. Prolong the liver failure a few more years." Mary Margate smiled. "Well I'm exhausted so I'm just going to head right up to bed. Oh by the way, one of your bras are on the kitchen ceiling fan." With that she left and headed upstairs leaving the pair to sit completely still in shock.

After M&M found one of their bras, Ruby decided it was best for her to go home leaving Emma to deal with the problem later.

Ruby was however still texting the blonde sheriff in an attempt to save their ruined date night.

**Incoming: Lemur **

**After a half hour of searches I think it's safe to say that your panties are gone for good, my bra was under the couch. We clearly need to be more careful when undressing. **

**Outgoing: Lemur**

**Well hindsight 20/20. Has M&M mentioned the bra yet? If she comes out and ask, don't lie just tell her what's going on.**

**Incoming: Lemur**

**She hasn't come out of her room since. I'll let you know what she's like in the morning. What are you doing?**

**Outgoing: Lemur**

**Just watching Honey Boo Boo with Granny, she keep comparing me to June….apparently that's me in five months…**

**Incoming: Lemur**

**I would never let you end up like June. I'd love you the same if you did though. But I would stop you from putting your children in pageants.**

**Outgoing: Lemur**

**I was in pageants when I was little. **

**Incoming: Lemur**

**That explains so much. XP**

**Outgoing: Lemur**

**Shut up! I refuse to talk to you for the rest of Honey Boo Boo.**

Ruby crossed her arms on the couch and huffed.

"Lover's tiff?" Granny tested laughing at her granddaughter.

"What are you talking about?" Ruby eyes her carefully, there was no way she found out about them.

"Nothing."

"You're honestly one medication away from going in a home. I'm serious you're losing it soon you'll be a danger to yourself and others." Ruby rolled her eyes at the old woman before turning her attention back to the tv, causing her to miss the large hardcover book hitting her in the head.

"Should've left you to the foster system." Granny grumbled.

"You threw a book at me! What the hell is wrong with you!" Ruby had to duck a second book being thrown at her. "Trying to watch tv but clearly we can't do that." She rolled her eyes taking her phone with her.

**Outgoing: Lemur**

**I now have a giant ass lump on the side of my head from having the fucking bible thrown at it. I need to move out. Fuck her heart condition. **

**Incoming: Lemur**

**On the way with ice and vodka. **

Emma crawled in through the window which was rarely closed now a days.

"How did you end up with the bible being thrown at your head?" Emma asked Ruby once the blonde was standing up again.

"Not really sure, I think she gave me a concussion." Ruby pouted holding her arms out for Emma. The blonde just smiled and went to hold Ruby on the bed.

"I don't get how you two manage to fight so much and still run two businesses together."

"Ha! Together, that's bullshit she treats me like a fucking slave. She makes me work satuday nights again. We had an agreement that I wasn't working them." Ruby was not letting that go.

"I know, if you want to come back and work at the station it could be fun. I promise if you have to work satuday nights I'll work em with you." Emma smiled down at the brunette in her arms.

"Maybe…can I get someone committed to a home without their permission when they don't need all around care?"

"No, I'm pretty sure if you did it would be illegal and considered a form of kidnapping or hostage." Emma had to think about that for a few seconds and had a feeling where this was going.

"We could get really drunk when we drop her off…"

"I don't feel like getting stabbed with utensils for trying to shove Granny in a home with you." Emma had been around a drunk Granny before. She was not the kind of woman someone messed with. She will stab you with anything at hand.

"She won't stab you. Not until she stabs me at least. I ever tell you how she shot me with a crossbow when I was three?" Ruby asked shifting so she could look at Emma.

"No, how did she shoot you with a crossbow? Who even has a crossbow in this day and age." Emma never heard of anyone with a crossbow in the last fifty years.

"She left a three year old in a room with a crossbow, a loaded crossbow. It was not put away someone, it was on the fucking couch next to me."

"So you shot yourself?"

"Yeah…why are you laughing!"

"That's how the cat died on Buffy…." Emma was bent over laughing her ass off thinking that Ruby shot herself with a crossbow.

"You're doing a horrible job of making me feel better. I mean honestly. Vodka or GTFO." Ruby crossed her arms giving Emma a dirty look.

"Okay, okay, here." Emma took the flask out of her inside jacket pocket.


	3. One Down Far Too Many To Go

Emma smiled as Ruby was curled up in her arms. They finished the flask and moved on to a 40oz which now laid empty on the floor. She was fighting a major headache and her stomach felt like doing the bad kind of flips but looking down at the younger girl nuzzling her neck made it all go away. Soon she would have to go home and talk to her roommate about the bra on the fan but right now she wanted to go back to sleep and just enjoy having her girlfriend all to herself.

She did this for what felt like forever until her phone rang. She knew that ringtone was for Henry only so she most likely should answer it. Only somehow Ruby picked this moment to wake up and pin her down.

"Shh…" Ruby was trying to stop the noise which she seemed to think was coming from Emma's mouth.

"It's my phone baby." Emma was trying to reach her jacket which wasn't too far out of her reach.

"M'kay." Ruby got up a bit and grabbed the phone opening it, ignoring the constant don'ts coming from Emma. "Heya Henry, nope your mom is here. Yup. Why do you think I'm drunk? I'm not! I was last night with your mom but I'm not now. Spare key is under the mat go nuts. Kay. Bye buddy." Ruby hung up, tossed the phone across the room onto a pile of dirty clothes.

"Rubes…what did Henry want?" Emma was a bit worried about what questions would bring up those responses from her girlfriend.

"He just wanted to know if he could borrow something from the apartment, I don't remember what it was. So I told him where the key was." Ruby shrugged moving back to her spot curled up in Emma's chest.

"Why did he think you were drunk? Why does my son automatically think you're drunk?" Emma wasn't sure if that was a good thing.

"Because I answered your phone and he somehow knows we drink together. Now stop moving so I can go back to sleep, I was comfy until your son interrupted cuddle time." Ruby pouted which made Emma instantly still.

"I love how well you two get along." Emma unaware she voiced her thoughts out loud said.

"Yeah he's great. I always sneak him cake and pie when Regina is away from the table, or I slip it in his bag." Ruby mumbled as she burrowed her face in Emma's neck. Within a few seconds second the streaked haired girl was fast asleep which left Emma to look around the room. She saw the make shift trophy a few of the guys from the bar made when Ruby was drunk one night she spilt her whole beer on white shirt. The guys decided that she won the white tee shirt contest which was really only a ploy to see how many other white shirts would become wet.

_Emma was sitting at a booth with Ruby right across from her, Mary Margret right next to her and Ashley by Ruby. _

_Everyone but the secret couple were still on their second, the couple was on their fifth. Ruby gripping the table rather tightly for support, decided she was going to go get a sixth drink that will hopefully give her better self-control and stop her from staring at Emma's chest. She had just made it to the bar, only clingy to a few people on the way, and almost falling once which caused Emma to practically leap out of her seat._

"_Thought you were off the clock Emma?" Ashley teased. "You don't need to jump to Ruby's rescue because she too drunk to walk to the bar." Ashley did leave out that someone, was rubbing their foot on her leg and it got a bit too close to a certain spot for her liking. _

"_I just don't want to spend the night in the hospital because she cracked her head open on a table." Emma tried to explain her eyes glued to Ruby's retreating figure. _

"_She hasn't done that since she was sixteen." Ashley defended also watching her friend. _

"_She actually cracked her head open?" Emma wanted to grab her girlfriend and keep her from doing it a second time, then kiss the spot where the crack was until it was gone. _

"_Well kind of, but not really, she just caused a lot of blood to come out of her head." Ashley shrugged watching as Ruby finally made it to the bar. "She doesn't remember some things around the time before and after the accident, which is good I guess since it meant she forgot Peter killed himself because he thought the fall killed her." Ashley needed to control her filter better clearly. _

"_Who did what?" Emma asked confused._

"_Peter was Ruby's first boyfriend, and I guess only, since she doesn't do relationships any more. I can't remember a time they weren't together." Mary Margret piped in, she was volunteering at the hospital when they were both brought in, Ruby was placed on a blood transfusion while one of the nurses patched her up, Dr. Whale was dealing with Peter who somehow found a gun to slow his brains out. They said he was alive and fully conscious enough to hear her wake up screaming in pain and panic. All Mary Margret could think of was how horrible that must have been for him, to have the last thing he heard was her suffering. "They were soulmates." _

_Emma looked down at her drink frowning. She never heard Ruby mention a Peter before, let alone that he was her soulmate. _

"_How did she take the news?" Emma wanted this story done before Ruby came back, which looked like it might take awhile. _

"_She didn't. She refused to speak, refused to move, she completely shut down. If she wasn't moving and talking at first they would've said it was brain damage. She tried to kill herself a few weeks later. One of the nurses found her passed out on the floor and caught her just in time, after that she didn't remember anything, we just told her that he was in a car accident and died on impact. She still took it hard but not as bad. It also helped she was never left alone in a room with anything that could be used to hurt herself." Mary Margret explained._

"_Well that and the constant therapy and anti-depressants." Ashley added in, just in time to hear all of the men in the bar cheer as Ruby drunkingly spilled her drink over herself._

"_Wet T-shirt Contest!" One of the drunken men yelled, only no one else decided to join. So the same drunken man who yelled out took a necklace made out of the drink swords and umbrellas and placed it around her neck, his hand lingering a bit too closely to her chest for Emma's liking, and Ruby's for that matter. _

Emma looked back down and just watched the sleeping girl on top of her. She didn't care if three months later Ruby still hadn't mentioned Peter, or anything about her breakdown of sorts. Emma didn't blame her.

"Lemur…" Ruby groaned as the sunlight attacked her eyes causing any sleep she wanted from now on impossible.

"Yeah babe?" Emma asked shifting slightly so the beam of light was directly across her girlfriend's eyes.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

"You know, I would love you a lot more if you know of a way to get use hangover food without leaving the bed." Ruby admitted reaching her arms around Emma's neck.

"Well if you didn't throw my phone away I could've called someone to bring us food…" Emma pointed out staring at her discarded phone.

"If someone brought it to us, we would have to unlock the door, put on clothes, come up with a reason why we're cuddling on bed, explain why you're hand is always on my ass…"

"My hand is not always on your ass." Emma defended herself, ignoring the valid facts that Ruby raised. Until she noticed that her hand was actually on her ass at the moment. "Okay it is now, but it isn't always." Ruby just gave her a doubtful look and a peck on the lips. "Sure thing baby."

…

Emma finally had to get up and leave and go to her own home finding her roommate sitting at the island drinking cocoa.

"Hey, about the bra…" Emma really didn't know what to say but thankfully her friend spoke up.

"It's fine, we need to teach Ruby how to say no the tequila better." Mary Margret smiled at her. "She got home okay after last night right?"

"Yeah she's fine. Granny threw a bible at her head but other than that she's fine. We were playing nurse the hangover together." Emma didn't catch a hidden smile Mary Margret had on her lips as Emma mentioned playing nurse. "We might need to hold a intervention for her though."

"Why did Granny throw a bible at her?" Mary Margret paused for a moment. "Never mind I can guess. If we give her an intervention we might as well give you one too, it seems if one of you is drinking so is the other. You're just better at keeping your clothes on." This made Emma blush and hide look away.

"We'll cut back on the drinking." Emma hung her jacket up and smiled at the other woman. "Promise." She headed up to her room, deciding that the quicker she got out of the room the less likely she was to say something about Ruby and hers relationship.

Mary Margret just shook her head. She couldn't believe how oblivious Emma was, or maybe how desperate she was to keep it a secret. Even though she thought the explanation of why Ruby's bra was on the fan, she figured she would save her friend the embarrassment.

Later that night when the duo was eating dinner, the doorbell rang which caused Emma, whom was acting rather skittish and nervous the entire night to jump and race to the door and Mary Margret to try not to laugh out loud.

"Ruby!" Emma seemed happy to see her girlfriend. "Come on in." Emma shut the door behind the younger girl and turned to her roommate. "We need to talk to you about something."

"Oh? Do you two need help with giving up drinking? I know it can be hard but be strong and remember the twelve steps." Mary Margret was pure evil, she wanted to watch them squirm.

"What? Why would I give up drinking? I mean I know I made some promise to whoever is up there if they made the room stop spinning but I don't plan to keep it." Ruby shrugged. "But that's not what we wanted to talk to you about." She nudged Emma for her to take over again.

"It's about the bra incident last night. We weren't drinking."

"Well not then anyways, we did get really drunk after."

"We….we're….see…"

"Emma threw my bra up there while we were having wild sex in the kitchen…"

"We were having sex because we're kind of dating."

"What do you mean kind of?"

"Fine Rubes, not kind of. You know I love you." Emma wasn't sure how the conversation ended up like this.

"I love you too Lemur." Ruby grinned at her, the only thing keeping her from kissing/making out with Emma right there was the fact that Mary Margret was there.

"So you two are dating?" Mary Margret just wanted to double/triple check that they weren't just going to end up hurting each other.

"Yup." Ruby grinned.

"Great, I need to go grade some tests, I think it's only fair if you two disinfect the kitchen and do so every time you decided to have sex in a common area." She didn't mind the having sex all over the apartment, she just would like to know that she could eat on the table knowing any traces of a naked body part was removed.

"Yeah, alright that seems fair." Emma agreed.

…

Emma and Ruby were once again curled up in Emma's bed.

"Telling Mary Margret went well." Ruby smiled, she figured something bad might have happened.

"Yeah, it went really well. I'm glad we did." Emma admitted, it would be nice not to have Ruby rush out every time so she can avoid running into her roommate.

"Maybe we can tell some other people…in time." Ruby admitted, cuddling into her girlfriend's neck.

"I'm fine with that." Emma smiled.

…

Emma went into the dinner the next day for lunch, she didn't spot Ruby right away but that most likely meant the waitress was in the kitchen getting the food for her tables.

"Emma, come out back with me for a moment." Granny said from her usual place at the counter. Emma was much to frightened of the old woman to think of doing anything but listening to her. Once they were in the back office, Granny sat down behind the desk and placed a rather large loaded crossbow on the desk. Emma as any person would blanched at the sight and hoped her eyes were too large. "Here is what is going to happen. You hurt her. This-" She pointed to the very sharp end of the bolt. "Goes into your head. You will not have time to explain. She gets hurt in any way shape or form. You die. And I will be laughing as I pull the trigger." Emma just nodded weakly before Granny gestured for her to leave the room.

"Emma? You okay, you look really pale…" Ruby asked at the sudden appearance of her girlfriend.

"Yeah, perfectly fine. I think I'll let you decide what I have for lunch." Emma knew how much it annoyed Ruby that she only ever had the same meal from here.

"Great, go sit at the counter."


	4. Fuck You Cats

Emma was loving having Ruby sleep over more and more. Granny kept reminding Emma about what will happen if she doesn't treat Ruby nicely. They were getting more serious only they still haven't really put their relationship in the public light. But they were going to tell Henry today.

Ruby and Henry was currently watching some video on youtube while Emma attempted to cook lunch.

"Is this what High School is like?" Henry asked looking at Ruby.

"It was for me. Every school has a Rachel fucking Tice." Ruby informed him clicking for the next video.

"What are you two talking about?" Emma asked the last thing she needed was Henry repeating Ruby's word choice. Regina would kill her and not allow Henry to stay with her any more.

"Most Popular Girls in School. It's a webseries on youtube." Ruby explained. "Come watch it with us." Ruby patted the spot next to her as she clicked on the next video.

Emma, after turning on the oven and putting the food inside went over to them and watched the show. Sure it was funny but not for a ten year old. "Alright, no more of this." She turned the video off. "Henry if your mom finds out Ruby was letting you watch it let alone that she showed it to you. She will kill me, than Ruby, then me again." Emma didn't want there to be a fight or anything.

"Fine…" Henry looked down in defeat. Emma roller her eyes knowing that he is just a wanted to get his own way.

"How about I show you another awesome show." Ruby asked already typing the words into youtube.

"If it's Honey Boo Boo or Toddlers and Tiaras please don't. You watching them is enough." Emma joked.

"No, it is a kids show from the 90's. You might remember it." Ruby grinned before the theme song started to play.

"Really? You want to get him into Digimon?" Emma shook her head at her. "That's the hipster Pokemon."

"No. Pokemon the show is for faggots. Digimon is where it's at." Ruby ignored the looks from Henry and Emma and leaned back against the couch. "Henry trust me. This is the greatest show ever."

"Yup, Regina is going to kill me." Emma accepted this fact.

After a few hours with Emma rolling her eyes about how Pokemon was way better a show and Ruby telling her to shut up, with Henry asking what a discman was when the conversation changed to pets Emma got an idea.

"You know we could get a pet. Like a cat."

"Yeah let's get a kitty!" Henry eagerly agreed

"No. No way in hell." Ruby crossed her arms over her chest.

"I figured you would want a pet." Emma wrapped her arm around Ruby's shoulder.

"I'm all for getting a puppy but no way in hell are we getting a cat." Ruby shrugged off Emma's arm.

"Why don't you like cats?" Henry asked looking over at the sulking waitress.

"I don't trust them. The way they look at you with their eyes. They are sneaky littler fuckers."

"How else would they look at you?" Emma was ready to give up.

"Not with a look of the second you turn around I am going to kill you..."

"Cats are way better than dogs." Henry grinned clearly trying to bug Ruby.

"Emma, please let me slap him. Please let me slap him."

"No you cannot slap him. I agree with Henry, I like cats better. They cuddle more."

"If you want something to cuddle you that smells like piss just take one of the sheets off Henry's bed."

"HEY! I do not wet the bed."

"Yeah, sure kid. You and the fucking cats."

"Alright Henry time to bring you back home." Emma got up and waited for Henry to leave the room to get his jacket before leaning down and kissing Ruby's forehead. "I promise no cats."

…

Emma had just spent three hours on the phone with Regina getting bitched out because Henry decided to finish watching The Most Popular Girls in School at home.

"Way to go Ruby. Regina isn't going to let Henry be alone with either of us for….until she changes her mind." Emma rolled her eyes sitting down at the table across from Ruby and Mary Margret.

"Hey maybe you need to be a better parent and keep an eye on what your child watches." Ruby shrugged reaching for the mash potatoes.

"Who shows a ten year old a video about sex and swearing?" Emma asked raising an eyebrow stealing a wing from Ruby's plate.

"Who wouldn't? I mean he needs to learn this stuff some time." Ruby glared at Emma as her girlfriend chomped away at her wing. "Don't you agree M&M?"

"I'm staying out of this." Mary Margret didn't want to get involved with their fights. Just like how she didn't want to suggest that Ruby move in already since she already spent more nights sleeping over then not.

"He can learn it like every other kid and not blame me." Emma rolled her eyes at him.

"He doesn't blame you. Regina does." Ruby laughed.

"She's the one I'd be more concerned about." Mary Margret added.

"Fine, I'll go talk to her tomorrow than. Happy?" Ruby knew there was more to it than just bad words.

"We'll see depending on the outcome."

…

Regina groaned when her doorbell rang. She didn't go into the office today so she could get the paper work done without any interruption but now some dumbass was interrupting her.

"What do you want Miss Lucas?" She was not pleased to see the waitress who was currently teaching her son about blow jobs and swearing.

"Please don't keep Henry from Emma due to my actions. I promise I'll try to keep it clean around Henry." Ruby was expecting a slap, to be screamed at anything.

"Fine. I suppose I shouldn't punish Miss Swan for her poor taste in romantic partners." Regina turned from the opened door and gestured for Ruby to follow her into the house. "Here. As a peace offering. For you and Miss Swan." Regina walked into the kitchen and came back with two apple turn overs.

"Thank you Regina." Ruby took them with a smile and left.

…

Henry was glad to finally be allowed to see Emma and Ruby again.

"I missed you guys."

"We missed you too kid." Emma led him into the kitchen where Ruby was heating up the turnovers.

"Want some of your mom's awesome baking?" Ruby asked Henry just was she was taking them out of the microwave.

"You guys can't eat them!"

"Why not?" Emma asked glancing over Henry's head at Ruby.

"Because my mom is the Evil Queen and poisoned them!"

"Why would she poison us?" Ruby asked looking at Emma.

"Because you're Red Ridinghood! Snow White's best friend! And Emma is the saviour!"

"Right…" Ruby used a fork to cut off a piece. "You need to relax Henry." Just as she raised the fork to her mouth Henry took it out of her hand.

"Don't eat it!"

"Kid seriously calm down." Emma really needed to have a talk with Henry about all this.

"Fine, I'll show you. I'll show both of you." He took the fork and ate the turnover.

"Oh you so showed us." Ruby rolled her eyes at the boy's dramatics.

Henry frowned before collapsing.

"Fuck."

"Henry!" Emma rushed to him while Ruby seemed to be in shock.


	5. IT HAPPENED ON BIG BROTHER

**Previously on SAMIMF:**

Henry was glad to finally be allowed to see Emma and Ruby again.

"I missed you guys."

"We missed you too kid." Emma led him into the kitchen where Ruby was heating up the turnovers.

"Want some of your mom's awesome baking?" Ruby asked Henry just was she was taking them out of the microwave.

"You guys can't eat them!"

"Why not?" Emma asked glancing over Henry's head at Ruby.

"Because my mom is the Evil Queen and poisoned them!"

"Why would she poison us?" Ruby asked looking at Emma.

"Because you're Red Riding hood! Snow White's best friend! And Emma is the savior!"

"Right…" Ruby used a fork to cut off a piece. "You need to relax Henry." Just as she raised the fork to her mouth Henry took it out of her hand.

"Don't eat it!"

"Kid seriously calm down." Emma really needed to have a talk with Henry about all this.

"Fine, I'll show you. I'll show both of you." He took the fork and ate the turnover.

"Oh you so showed us." Ruby rolled her eyes at the boy's dramatics.

Henry frowned before collapsing.

"Fuck."

"Henry!" Emma rushed to him while Ruby seemed to be in shock.

**Now on this chapter of SAMIMF**

…

Emma and Ruby were forced to sit in the waiting room while doctors and nurses tried to figured out what was wrong with Henry and how to get him to wake up. Neither of them were allowed in the room they weren't legally family.

Regina was on the way and they were both prepared to be yelled and screamed at even hit. They were fully expecting to be hit or have a limb become detached. Or killed.

"Maybe he's allegic to apples?"

"Living with Regina? I doubt it."

"Well on Big Brother they had to bring in slop instead of peanutbutter jelly sandwiches since people developed allergies. Maybe he's been eating so many apples so much he developed a bad allergy to them?" Ruby was trying to think of outcomes that would not result in Henry being in a coma or worse. Whale came out to see them. "Whale tell Emma that he developed an allergy to apples after eating them for so long."

Whale gave Ruby a smug look. "That is very rare and unlikely." He was holding that clipboard which she doubted actually had anything on it but a playboy.

"It can happen it happened on Big Brother."

"I don't diagnose people off things I see in a reality show…actually I don't really watch reality tv at all it's full of mindless crap."

"What about Henry?"

"Well considering he's ten he's not too stupid."

"I meant is he awake?" Emma knew something was wrong when she was in a room with a doctor and she was the smartest one in the room.

"No." Whale answered simply.

"WHERE IS MY SON!" Regina stormed into the waiting room demanding all the attention be on her. But then she spotted Emma and Ruby with Whale. "Where is he. What did you two idiots do?"

"He ate the turnover and collapsed." Emma explained glaring at her.

"Yeah literally took the fork out of my mouth…" Ruby couldn't help feel a bit responsible for that.

"Where is he?" Regina glared at Whale who gestured to the direction Henry was in before Regina stormed off.

Ruby just stayed in the waiting room as Emma and Regina went in to see Henry. She felt horrible. Henry took the fork out of her mouth. It was suppose to be her in the hospital not him. Adults save the kids, kids don't save the adults.

"I'm sorry Henry."

…

After the sounds of metal hitting a wall and some muffled angry tones coming from this closet that Emma dragged Regina into Ruby wasn't sure what was going on, she said before to Emma that she was fine with getting rid of the tension with Regina, she just asked that she could be a part of it.

Emma stormed out of the closet and looked dumbfounded and lost. She went over to Ruby, not saying anything just sitting next to her at first.

"He was right." Emma sounded lost.

"What do you mean?"

"Magic, the curse. Regina being The Evil Queen. All of it true." Emma looked at her. "Guess you really are Red Ridinghood. Makes sense with your lack of moving out from your grandmother's."

"Are you having a breakdown? I mean that makes sense. Henry is very sick right now."

"No Regina admitted it. The apple turn overs were cursed. She got Jefferson to use his hat and reach into the Enchanted Forest, Mary Margret is Snow White, David is Prince Charming. You're Red Ridinghood, Ashley is Cinderella. Marco is Geppetto. It's all true. I never believed him. Now it's too late. Magic works differently here, it's going to kill him."

"You think magic is real?" Ruby looked at her. "Oh Emma. This really is taking its toll on you. I'll go see if I can find a doctor who can get you some calming pills and in a few hours after they pumped his stomach he'll be all better. This is just stress and worry."

"No it isn't. Regina admitted it. She told me the truth. We can save Henry but we need to go and do things to get it."

"You and Regina need to go on a magically quest?"

"Pretty much yeah. Just make sure he isn't alone okay? And call us if there is any change."

"Of course. I'll make sure you're both updated." Ruby wrapped her arms around Emma in a tight hug before she let go and allowed the blonde to run off to meet Regina at the first step of the magical quest.

…

Emma and Regina have been gone for three hours now when Ruby spotted Jefferson trying to move around unnoticed. She rolled her eyes and followed him, past a code lock door and paused at the stairs.

"What are you doing Jefferson?" She asked right behind him, making him jump five feet in the air.

"Jesus Christ do not sneak up on people when they are…sneaking." He clearly did not expect to have someone follow him.

"Why are you sneaking?"

"Regina has someone looked up. I'm going to free her and tell her to go find Gold."

"I can do that. Go back to house where you watch little kids."

"You make me sound perverted."

"But that's what you do. You sit in your house and watch kids from a telescope, I have no idea what you're doing as you're watching these kids, jacking off maybe." Ruby shrugged.

"I do not masturbate to little kids!"

"But you do watch them."

"Fine if you'll shut up about me watching little kids I'll leave and let you free her. Just remember tell her to find Gold."

Ruby kept going and found a nurse at a desk fast asleep with a magazine covering her face. She found a hallway with heavy duty doors, she saw a plaque with Sidney Glass on it. She did wonder where he went Emma wasn't allowed to say.

"Some girl…gotta love Jefferson if it's not a child he won't give a decent description ask what little Johnny did five months and eight minutes ago and he has books filled with info. Fucking pedophile."

She saw room which was lacking a name tag. It wasn't like other empties one where the name tag was blank the name tag was removed fully.

She pulled back the moveable thing and peeked in. "Oh hey! A girl! Hi! I'm going to get you out and then you need to find gold." Ruby closed it pulled the door open. "Come on time to go!" The girl just looked at her confused. "Welcome to the real world where we haven't got all day." The other girl nodded and Ruby led them back up to the main part of the hospital. "Okay Jefferson the neighbourhood pedophile said that you need to find gold."

The girl nodded before pointing at Ruby's wrist. "Is that a gold bracelet?"

"Yes…oh hey you found gold." Ruby laughed. "It's mine get your own." She added very serious. "Now if you don't mind my girlfriend's son is really sick and I'm suppose to be by his side." Ruby went back to the waiting room while the girl sat next to her.

"Can I stay with you?"

"Just don't steal my bracelet."

…

Emma and Regina were running back into the hospital. Ruby had just called saying that Henry was getting a lot worse.

When they entered the hospital they ran straight to him. Emma did pause not even to hear the comment from Ruby about how Emma had a very big sword with her and Regina had robe burns on her wrist.

Ruby watched Regina attack Whale, it seemed like he was the next best thing to Emma since she had a big pointy sword and all.

Ruby heard the steady beep that she knew only meant one thing and didn't know what to do. She had to be strong for Emma that was a given, Regina was going to lose it completely and very likely kill them before moving onto Whale and the rest of the town.

She saw Emma lean down and kiss Henry's forehead and felt so horrible for thinking that Emma was actually kissing a dead body. That's gross.

"What happened to him?" The still unnamed girl next to her asked.

"Ate so many apple so close together he developed a really bad allergy."

"THAT CAN NOT HAPPEN RUBY!" Whale screamed out apparently having heard it.

"Tell that to the Big Brother cast!"

Whale was about to yell at her some more and kick her out of his hospital when a gust of sparkly air zoomed past them all.

Henry was up and grinning, probably glad that he was never going to be forced to eat another apple in his life.

Ruby however was staring at the ground thinking about what happened.

For the past eight months she had been fucking her goddaughter.

She had been sleeping with Snow and Charming daughter.

She was fucking Emma with Mary Margret in the other room.

Snow practically walked in on them.

Charming was going to kill her.

"Ruby are you okay?" Emma asked watching the range of emotions show on her girfriend's face.

"Fuck me." She sighed out in a rather hopeless voice before fainting.


End file.
